Bull's Eye Business Writing Tips

Tip #425: A paragraph is well developed if its sentences unfold in a way that makes the argument perfectly clear.  (This tip comes from clearwriter.com)

Few writers consider how or where to make a point in a paragraph. Deciding how to make your point depends on the details, examples, and comments you have to support it. Most writers express the point in the first sentence and support it in subsequent sentences with details and examples. A variation is to lead with the point, support the point with examples and details, and conclude with a comment.

Concluding a paragraph with a comment can inject a bit of your personality and, at times, humor. Comments can also put a paragraph in perspective, create a bridge to the next paragraph, or reinforce your point after presenting a series of facts. Decide how much humor and personal opinion your readers will tolerate: you shouldn’t make so many comments that you distract readers from your argument.

Read the following paragraph:

Most of our contributors [to the quarterly poll] remain keener on shares than on bonds; none more so than Daiwa, another newcomer. It has more equities in cash and less in bonds than any of the others. It prefers shares because of rising inflationary expectations and improving market confidence in the wake of last year’s Russian crisis. But some investors--such as Phillips & Drew and Lehman--have cut their exposure to non-Japanese Asian equities, believing that the markets have already discounted a recovery. Indeed, Phillips & Drew detects a slowdown in reform following the recovery in share prices. The emerging market crisis is gone, perhaps, but not forgotten. (The comment ends the paragraph with a personal flourish.)

Make a point, support the point with examples and details, and make a comment.

Danelle (Dee) Karvois asked: 

I have a question and it is something I struggle with every time this comes up:  

State of "Ohio"
OR
state of "Ohio"

If both, what dictates, which form?

Please answer her question.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”  (Mohandas Gandhi)

My answer to this week's exercise:

Thanks for the good question.  The answer is “the state of "Ohio.”  Capitalize “state” only when it follows the name of a state or is part of an imaginative name.  For example:  "New York" "State" is also called the "Empire State".